


ticky tacky

by taakofromtaz (AmazingSuperiority)



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: !!!!!!!, But he is, Canon Trans Character, Elf Practice, Expressive elf ears, Gen, Minor Character Death, Not Beta'd, Trans Character, Trans Taako (The Adventure Zone), as usual, baby twins, idk if that comes up in this story, it's not described in detail tho, its practically canon anyway, not as meme-y as the concept makes it sound i swear, the Cute elf practice, this is pretty self-indulgent, twin fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-15 08:54:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13027593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmazingSuperiority/pseuds/taakofromtaz
Summary: "Yeah, elf kids go to elf practice. Humans don't do that?""Uh... no?""Huh. No wonder you're all disasters. We can't really say anything, though. We're both dropouts."(WHY WEREN'T YOU AT ELF PRACTICE?)





	1. little boxes

**Author's Note:**

> title from "little boxes" specifically the version by walk off the earth
> 
> I want to thank the taz fic writers discord for the wonderful ideas. also, specifically @anonymousAlchemist for the original idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is full of personal hcs and stuff that will (probably) eventually be touched on in a future fic I have planned. then again, this might also be just for fun lol.
> 
> What you need to know going in:  
> -Taako is also trans and the twins realize at about five/six years old.  
> -They switch names right before going into school for the first time.  
> -The twins have heterochromia (one eye green, the other silver).  
> -Taako, as a child, is very quiet, empathetic. As he gets older, he closes himself off and puts up walls and defenses and becomes distant and aloof. He learns how to put on a persona in front of other people.

Every day, for about six hours, Taako and Lup are sent off to play nice with other elf children. The school has a long and prestigious name, something that glorifies the elven race, surely, but it’s too long to remember, so the twins just call it “elf practice.” (Their aunt always tries to get them to stop, to call it by its actual name, to give it the respect it _undoubtedly_ _deserves_ , but they never listen.) Elf practice, at the entry stages, consists mostly of proper meditation techniques and how to walk and speak Elvish correctly.

The other children like the twins well enough, but the adults more or less ignore them. Some of the instructors call them cursed ( _“Twins are bad luck. They killed their mother.” “Their eyes are bewitched!” “Unnatural cretins.”_ ) and others keep them totally separated from other kids. Some are _scared_ of them, so visibly unsettled by the two of them that Taako’s cried more than once after being on the receiving end of a terrified scream.

Classes are fairly uninteresting for the most part. Lup has trouble sitting still most of the time, too energized to clear her mind or work through mental exercises. Taako has less trouble with sitting still but clearing his head is an issue. He wants to think about this or that and can't force himself to think about nothing. He ends up falling asleep during these lessons, more often than not, and wakes up to scoldings from the instructors and laughter from his sister.

The two are almost unnaturally skilled at speaking proper Elvish. They pick it up like they were born speaking it, and they excel in both writing and reading. Taako loves the way it looks and Lup loves the way it sounds. Taako wants to eventually learn more languages. Languages are fun. (He tells their instructors and they crinkle their upturned noses and glare at him. _“Why would you want to know anything but_ Elvish?” they ask him, disdain on their voices.)

They both fail rather spectacularly at controlling their twitchy ears. There's an entire class devoted to schooling an elf's emotions enough that they can resist the natural movement their ears want to make. The instructors give the children stimulants—mostly sounds at first, some loud, some quiet, some maybe by voices, some made by objects—and try to tame their ears into a neutral position.

They hate it, natch.

Lup has too much energy to calm herself or her emotions, too wound up at any one point to still her hands or feet or ears. Taako is too much into his own head to notice the movements of his ears. He hates the loud sounds and flinches at the booming crashes and high-pitched shrieks. Lup's ears are always pricked in interest and Taako's flatten more often than not.

They're not very good students.

“Dears,” their aunt says to them one day after elf practice, “why don't you try to do better?”

“We _do_ try!” Lup insists, her too-big ears twitching at her honesty. “It's just so hard!”

“It's not that hard, babies.” Their aunt crouches to their level and gives them both a stern look. “You just have to _try_.”

Taako's ears flatten. “It's hard to focus,” he murmurs, clutching at Lup's brightly colored sundress. “And they yell at us.”

“We don't like it when they yell at us, Auntie! They've made Koko cry before!” Lup is full of righteous fury and Taako pulls a little insistently at her dress. She settles with a huff. “It's not fun there.”

“‘Cept the Elvish,” Taako adds, ears lifting, smiling a little.

“Koko's like. The Best at Elvish, Auntie!” Lup flashes their aunt the biggest grin and tugs Taako in front of her. “He's real good at words!”

Their aunt just sighs indulgently at them and stands up. “That’s good. You need to be passionate about something.” She considers them for a moment before smiling gently. “I have an idea. Follow me into the kitchen.”

From that point on, their aunt teaches them all about cooking, promising to teach them new techniques and recipes if they promise to do their very best at elf practice (except she doesn’t call it that—she uses the long, fancy name Lup and Taako can’t remember.)

They like these lessons much more than elf practice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments are appreciated :3 this is super self-indulgent and i hope you liked it lol


	2. on the hillside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk how long this fic is gonna be and i hate posting chapters this short but i really just wanna get this out in the world.
> 
> as before, titles from walk off the earth's version of little boxes (which is a jam btw and you should all listen)

Some days Lup and Taako think about the future. They don’t think about it often, but when they do, it’s always wistful, _what-ifs_ and dreams of adult domesticity. They hear from some of the older students that once an elf child hits age fifteen, some of their instructional time is spent on beginning to learn magic. Cantrips, specifically. As high elves, they are naturally predisposed to having and performing magic, no matter what.

Taako and Lup sit in the trees that line the playground the elf practice school boasts listening to the older students discuss which wizard cantrip they’d most like to learn. One of them said Dancing Lights because she thought it would be pretty. A couple of them threw out Mage Hand, citing it’s uses. The group eventually walked away, the twins following them with their eyes until they leave earshot.

“I wanna learn Prestidigitation,” Taako says suddenly, still staring in the direction the older kids went.

Lup presses her cheek into his shoulder, arms wrapped around his middle to keep her balance. “Why?” she asks.

“Changing things just… feels right,” he tells her, moving a hand to clutch hers, the other white knuckled around a thick branch.

“I wanna learn _Fire_ _Bolt_ ,” she says, hissing the name like its an attack all on its own. “I wanna be able to roast those weenies that pick on you.”

Taako snorts and presses back against Lup. “You like fire too much.”

“Prestidigitation is _boring_ ,” she retorts, turning her nose into his neck. “It suits you.”

Taako doesn’t deign her with a response, shrugging his shoulder to dislodge her a little. She simply scoffs and resettles.

“One day we’ll be the best wizards the world’s ever seen,” Lup says, voice quiet. Taako can practically hear her thinking. “We’ll put on a show, me and you, travel around the country cooking baller food and showing off how good we are at magic. We’ll share our skills with all the people who can’t cook or do magic and everyone will love us.” She sighs. It’s a wistful sound.

“Sizzle It Up, with Taako ‘n Lup,” Taako says, pulling one hand away from its spot to wave in an arc before replacing it.

“Uh, I think you mean _Lup ‘n Taako_ ,” Lup counters, the unspoken _duh_ hanging between them.

“Sorry sis, but you’re wrong.” Taako jostles her again and she just squeezes him tighter.

“I’m older than you so my name goes first.”

“Ten minutes mean _nothing_ , Lulu. Don’t kid yourself.”

“At least _I_ wasn’t almost born the next day, goofus.”

Taako falls silent for a moment and Lup lifts her head to watch him. She can see him trying to form response and she almost laughs, but, “At least I’ve never lived without you, dingus.” His voice is quiet and she scoffs, knocking into his shoulder before pulling him closer.

“Gross,” she says, running her fingers through his hair. “What a sap.”


	3. there's a pink one and a green one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> buckle up kiddos. it's about to get sad  
> (minor character death warning)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry for making cute elf practice sad. im sorry, i had to, it's practically canon
> 
> im so glad people love this fic as much as i do. i'm so surprised at myself every time i go to post something for this story lol
> 
> i really do like this chapter tho (and dont worry. this fic doesnt stay sad long. maybe only until the next chapter)
> 
> titles are from the usual place

Their auntie gets sick. She’s an older elf lady, well into her seven hundreds, and she’s not as spritely as she used to be. She’s been slowing down for years but the twins have ignored it, hoping and praying that she would get better.

She doesn’t.

When the twins are twelve, she dies. It’s peaceful, in her sleep, and Taako and Lup wake up that morning like nothing has happened. Auntie is usually the first one up and about—the twins, although they have finally managed to master meditating, prefer sleep as a deeper, more restful alternative to trancing—so Lup and Taako seize this rare opportunity to make breakfast for the three of them.

They fry eggs and bacon, mix and knead fresh dough for biscuits, whip up some creamy gravy to pour on top. It doesn’t take them that long, really—their Auntie taught them well—and soon they have a delicious meal made just for the three of them.

They load up a tray, for breakfast in bed, and carry the food carefully upstairs.

“This would be so much easier with magic,” Lup whines, staring down at the glasses in her hands, focusing intently on not spilling a single drop.

“We’re not old enough,” Taako reminds her, brushing past her carefully.

Lup glares at him. He’s always been the more graceful of the two. “So? Who cares? I bet we could start to join those magic classes and they’d never know.”

“If they’d even let us in,” Taako mutters, waiting for her to join him on the top step.

“What do you mean?”

“I overheard some of the instructors. They don’t know if they want us to learn magic.”

“That’s bullcrap!” Lup snaps, the glasses sloshing dangerously. “We’re just as capable of learning magic as the rest of them! Just because we’re a little different—!” She cuts herself off with a loud groan.

Taako shrugs and keeps his eyes down. “I hope they let us in. I really wanna learn magic.”

Lup kicks her foot at him, her hands occupied, and he glances up. She makes a face, crossing her eyes and sticking her tongue out, and he laughs and she keeps the face until he kicks her back. “Don’t worry, lil Koko bro. We’ll learn magic one day, with or without that stupid elf practice!”

Taako gives her a crooked smile and leads the way to Auntie’s bedroom. It’s bright and sunny, her walls painted a cheerful yellow, her bedspread a tasteful pale pink floral, the curtains a soothing grassy green. The twins have never seen their aunt meditate before so they’re not sure if she lays down or sits up for her nightly trancing. (Both twins prefer laying down. It’s far more comfortable.)

Finding her buried under the covers isn’t very surprising—the twins do the same thing while curled up together. She’s wearing a pale blue nightgown, the one with long sleeves and lacy ruffles at the wrists that she sometimes wears while cooking. Taako and Lup set the tray and drinks on the dresser and exchange smirks, communicating with each other wordlessly. With an unspoken countdown, they jump on the bed together, four small hands reaching for Auntie with unrestrained glee.

“Wake up, Auntie!” they say together, poking and prodding and searching for the edges of the blanket.

They pull the heavy blankets back as Lup says, “We made breakfast!”

Auntie doesn’t stir.

Taako frowns and clutches at Lup’s sleeve with one hand. “Auntie?” he asks, reaching a slow hand out to her still, still face. So, so very still. (She looked peaceful, Taako thinks later, once he allows himself to admit that he knew she was gone from that moment.)

Lup shoves her hand under his right before he makes contact. Taako pulls back, almost confused, and glances at his sister. Her brow is furrowed and her eyes are trained on Auntie. “Koko,” she says, her voice small, “I don’t think Auntie is asleep.”

“Of course she’s not,” he says, but only because it feels automatic. He swallows and stares down at where Lup’s moving her hand to hover in front of Auntie’s face, under her nose. “Auntie… Auntie doesn’t sleep. Elves aren’t ‘spposed to sleep, ‘member?” He thinks he says. He tries to focus on anything else but the tremble of Lup’s hands.

“She’s real cold, Koko.” Auntie runs hot, just like Lup. Auntie doesn’t get cold, not like Taako. Taako almost wants to reach out to try to touch her again, but his second hand joins his first on Lup’s sleeve. He’s always been one for grabbing, clutching, holding on as if his life depends on it. It never has, not really.

(That’s about to change. Eventually, holding on will be the only thing that keeps them together.)

“Auntie’s real old, Lup,” Taako says, whispers into her neck as he pulls himself against her, screwing his eyes shut tight and forcing his breathing to stay even. Lup is shaking. Taako forces himself to stay calm. One of them needs to be.

Lup’s emotions run too fast, too hot, too strong—she’s always been worse at putting on a disaffected face because everything is a big deal with feelings as big as hers. Taako’s emotions, on the other hand, simmer and stir inside him, seeping into his very being. His emotions settle deeply and firmly and leave him much more slowly than they come to him, if they ever truly do.

“Let’s go back to our room, Koko,” Lup murmurs, voice low, as she grabs one of his hands and tugs him gently off the bed. He follows her, his eyes never leaving Auntie.

They forget about breakfast.

When they come back to get it later, it’s gone as cool as she has.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback is much appreciated, as always <3


End file.
